It is so much harder than you'd think it was.
Every time the phone rings you think someone is call to tell you he is gone.
You panic because you realized that you didn't ask enough questions about gardening and now you are completely unprepared to do it on your own.
If you let it, sadness will consume you.
No matter how much you do, you still feel guilty for not doing more.
You search your memory for the last thing he was able to say to you.
It's all going to be okay, even if it's not.